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Bogus Roofer Fails to Return Library Books

4th July 2017 by in category blog tagged as , , , , , with 0 and 2

Why a jailed cowboy roofer faces misdemeanour charges for forgetting to return eleven books

Roofer's forgotten library books image by Aireo (via Shutterstock).

Image by Aireo (via Shutterstock).

Bogus roofer Dennis Upton, aged 24, has already had a few brushes with the law. Firstly, he is already in jail, serving a four-month sentence. Secondly, he has already had an outstanding warrant for driving under the influence of alcohol. Whilst his Driving License was suspended.

Thirdly, he has already conned a few people under the alias of Upton’s Quality Construction. This has included a shoddily constructed roof for the Shattuck family which cost them $9,000. In return they got a shoddy shingle job and an untidy lawn. Some charitable, and considerably more experienced contractors, came to their rescue and did the job free of charge.

In a nutshell, you could say Dennis was a real menace; the things he did were considerably too heinous for Dad’s whacking slipper. In addition to the above, he will come before the law for… failing to return his library books. In Cumbria, that’s 30p a day per book. Dennis has failed to return eleven of them to Eaton Rapids Public Library in Michigan.

That would be £3.30 a day. Or £23.10 per week. His books have been overdue for 56 weeks or thereabouts. Which, if library fines in Michigan were similar to those by Cumbria County Council, £1,293.60 ($1672.62). The books he has failed to return are:

  • Ortho’s All About Roofing & Siding Basics;
  • Ultimate Guide to Ceramic & Stone Tile: Select, Install, Maintain;
  • 1001 Ideas for Decks, Joseph Provey;
  • Plumbing, R.D. Trelour;
  • The Complete Guide to Carpentry for Homeowners, Chris Marshall;
  • Jim Cramer’s Real Money: Sane Investing in an Insane World, Jim Cramer;
  • The Complete Guide to Masonry & Stonework;
  • Working with Drywall: Hanging & Finishing Drywall the Professional Way;
  • Ultimate Guide: Decks: Plan, Design, Build;
  • Japanese Complete Course: The Basics;
  • Ortho’s All About Deck and Patio Upgrades.

With his books being overdue for over a year, he now faces a misdemeanour charge. In Eaton County, Michigan, a misdemeanour charge is a minor one. He or she can be fined or face a short jail sentence in a local prison. The sentence is no longer than 12 months and prisoners may be incarcerated on a weekend basis. Some states have a maximum jail sentence of two and a half years. Other forms of sentences for misdemeanour charges include community service and probation.

Cumbria Roofing, 04 July 2017.

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